Why will the cookie crumble?

Hi all,

Is it just me? I think it is. Sometimes, I can't help to think how come things always turns out this way. Is it meant to be?

I doubt so. Most probably more reflection and all.

I thought I could be stronger than this. But the 2nd time it happened, I had to come back.

Is the human mind and heart so weak? Can I ever break the cycle? The ultimate question. Why?

Fate maybe? Perhaps. But to leave it to fate? Or to take control of your destiny?

To press on, or to be stagnant? To improve or to give up. All these thoughts ran through me.

Weird it seems that I could have grown better after the first. But even now, mistakes still happen?

Guess it's time to be introspective again and think about everything? Can't seem to run away from it.

I seem to have the effect once again. I tire everyone I guess. Maybe to change once and for all. Bet I can't do it. Haha.

"Now darkness has come to the roses The fire is reaching the end The colors that I have created Are suddenly flying away I'm not fighting myself, will not follow 'Cause my choices are mine it's my fate And I'll never bow down from the sorrow I'll face all that is coming my way"

"When she embraces Your heart turns to stone She comes at night when you are all alone And when she whispers Your blood shall run cold You better hide before she finds you Whenever she is raging She takes a life away Haven't you seen? Haven't you seen? The ruins on our world" Back to my thoughts then. Bye.

Best words Ever - Old Post

Hi all...

Nothing much to post lol...

Been quraelling with parents nowadays...was asked to moved out more then once....

NVM...my funeral is coming soon...

Start of school....wasn't a good day....got to expose to more truths in life....

What a day...

Anyway best words ever goes to this conversations...

"hi"

"busy to talk?"

"Y muz I tok u? who even wants to tok to u!"

"hi"

"have the mood to talk?"

"i always have the mood to tok jus not to u"

"fullstop!"

"dun disturb me b4 i block u"

Woah....All this words are so ...... (fill in the blank)

Meaniful?

F**ked up?

Encouraging?

Disappointing?

Felt all these when i unravel some of my truths in life...

Haha...i think i just lost another friend...

Haiz...another lesson learnt about truths in life would be you can plan alot of things...but people just dun appreciated it...

People dun even appreciate what teachers have done for them...

Still can "chey" ....

So must i not plan? If i dun do it, who will? NVM shall continue with what we have...

Have been feeling down this past few nights? So sry to all those ppl who have been chatting with me....

I think its time to remove my mask and be myself? But that would mean a different me...

NVM shall just use change of hearts to do things then...

Death - Old Post

Hi all...

It's been a few days since i have access to my internet...

Even now...i'm tapping some other people network...

Why?...

Caus my mum don't want us ( me and my brothers ) to play...

and the excuse she used...

My youngest brother hasn't finished his homework so all no internet...

WTH.........

Well....this week i received a piece of news lol...

It's quite a shocking news... but i shall say it later...

Most of the things i dun quite remember lol..

Tuesday

Didn't go to school since i cannot wake up and stayed a home whole day...

Got the shocking news...

Wednesday

After school went back immediately to sleep...

Thursday

Went to watch hitman lol...was quite nice haha

Friday

Went home after school immediately to sleep....

Sataurday

Went to gym with Yirong, Badron and Wei hong at the jurong sports complex lol.....

After that went to have fun below in the wave pool and slides...

Went to my grandmother's house at about 3 lol...

End up getting lost and walked the whole jurong from east to central to west...

Finally found my grandmother's house after 2 hours...

After that went home lol...

Sunday...

Went to work...and home now lol...

Well....Time for the news....

I just got to know thatmy grandmother got last stage liver cancer....

Surprising huh?....

And my grandmother has also been so strong...

I wonder....

How it's like to experience death?

To feel the lost of someone close?

How would i react?

Would i cry? Would i do nothing?

Will it be disturbing?

I dont't know...?

Wow....and when i visit my grandmother...she was like so tired...

So sick...so shallow...so weak...

And the medical fees...are WOW......

$2000 per session for 10 sessions...

That's like $20000 for the whole thing...

And there is no cure for last stage cancer unless u change the part...

Looks like i'm having my 1st funeral to attend to soon...

"F**k this hurts, I won't lie"

"Doesn't matter how hard I try"

"Half the words don't mean a thing"

"And I know that I won't be satisfied"

"目覚めを待つ国の　むかしのはなし"

(mezame wo matsu kuni no mukashi no hanashi)

(It is an old tale of a kingdom wating to be awakened)

"ささげましょう胸に　宿るひかり"

(sasagemashou mune ni yadoru hikari)

(within this devoted chest dwells a light,)

"星になるきぼう　あしたが見える"

(hoshi ni naru kibou ashita ga mieru)

(this hope becomes a star, and I see the future)

"愛するひとよ　待ってておくれ"

(aisuru hito yo mattete okure)

(oh my beloved, plase wait for me)

"こころの窓に立つ　さだめの横顔"

(kokoro no mado ni tatsu sadame no yokogao)

(I erect a profile of destiny at the window of my heart)

"ともしましょう夢を　守るひかり"

(tomoshimashou yume wo mamoru hikari)

(there is only one that the star chooses and ordains)

"星はただひとり　選べと告げる"

(hoshi wa tada hitori erabe to tsugeru)

(whose enligthened dreams is proteced by her light)

"愛するひとが　わたしを呼べば変わる"

(aisuru hito ga watashi wo yobeba kawaru)

(my beloved, you have grown distant from me)

"うるわしく立ち舞う　けがれなき羽"

(uruwashiku tachimau kegarenaki hane)

(untainted feathers dancing beautifully)

"背負いましょう御子の　命のひかり"

(seoimashou miko no inochi no hikari)

(the burdened noble child’s light of life,)

"星になるために　生まれてはならぬ"

(hoshi ni naru tame ni umarete wa naranu)

(is to become the star — she must stay unborned)

"愛するひとに　抱かれてねむれ"

(aisuru hito ni dakarete nemure)

(on her beloved, she sleeps in deep embrace)

Just another few songs which i liked and find it enlightening....

Well....This few days i've been having rows with my mum...

And for the third time