Survivor

Hi all,

It's been some time since i've last posted... Around 3 months? haha..

Anyway, i'm finally not lazy enough to post about things that i want to say or actually, it's more of finally having the feel to type out what's happening...haha

Well, 1st and foremost, i'll like to say that i've finally finish studying in poly..haha

Hmm, lets 1st discuss about the issue of seekers versus the followers..
Well, there are a few kind of seekers, from death, to attention, to money or fame, and even to freedom..
These seekers tries so hard to get what they want, some may fail, but others may succeed, using unorthodox ways of achieving them..
While half of a person is a seeker, the other half is a follower..
They basically follows the trend, or just follows the cycle blindly..
Never voicing out their opinions and keep quiet to observe and to obey..
So what are you? More of a seeker? Or more of a follower?

Anyway, life is so screwed up now..
Everynight, i can hear my parents quarreling in their bedroom...
Divource is such a common issue now..
Money still plays a major part..
Soon they may be sued for bankruptcy..
They're playing the blame game, blaming each other for dragging each other down..
Blamming me for spending to much electricity..
Home is just another place to sleep..
it's just like a hotel..

I'm still getting blamed for someone elses mistake...
Guess it's my life to be blamed huh? haha..by now, i should be used to it i guess...
Still i'm a survivor outcast..haha...even after graduation...
It's fine...It's over anyway..

Recently, i've watched the butterfly effect..
Haha, the shows, nice..
Reflects reality...
Kept me thinking, what if this is just a version of life itself..
What if there are more versions?
Well, one thing's for sure..
That show tells us how you'll lose something in order to achieve another goal..
No matter what, there is no such thing as a perfect ending...
If everything is so perfect, life itself would be mealiness, for you won't know when or how to enjoy life, you won't even appreciate life..

Anyway, i've always heard about people understanding me...
But do they? Hmm...that is the question..
Sometimes, people say that i'm too "mysterious" and i should try and be more open..
But why should i do that?
For most of my time, i've been trying to understand other people, trying to understand lots of different things, and to make me understand them...
So why can't i do the same thing, and instead, let people understand me for once?
To many, i'm weird because the actions i do or the speech i say are hard to comprehend, and they don't understand it..
So why bother explaining myself? Hmm...

"I don't care what you think"
"As long as it's about me"
"The best of us can find happiness"
"In misery"

"They say"
"That i must learn to kill before i can feel safe"
"But I"
"I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave"
"Sometimes"
"I feel that I should go and play with the thunder"
"Somehow"
"I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder"

Well, that's another few songs to bring out the feeling..haha..
Guess that's all for now then...
Till next time..
bb